Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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