hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
