I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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