I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
