4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
