Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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