obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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