Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
