I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
