Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
