That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Where is the hickey?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
