her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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