Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
