butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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