I puked a lego.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
