My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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