my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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