I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
