Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
