you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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