Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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