you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
