I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
