I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
