I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
