so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
