worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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