I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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