So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
