chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
