If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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