Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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