A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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