i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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