Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
