jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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