somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
