too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
