Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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