I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
