i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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