I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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