My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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