I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
