I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
