So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
