The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
