next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
