Me too!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
