You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
